2007 Send Offf - Slinky Style

I can't think of a more appropriate way to send off 2007 than exhibiting this profound human specimen. Click here to view the "Human Slinky." Words just can't describe.

Can't wait for 2008 baby!!! Woot!

How Squirrely!

Ok, when I read this headline, I had to re-read it because it was just too bizarre to be true: Snakey smells help squirrels stay safe. It sounds repulsive, yet strangely intriguing, right?

So I read the article, and it's literally as strange at it sounds. Apparently, squirrels have become rather crafty, and have discovered if they chew on shedded rattlesnake skin and then lick their fur, it helps mask their "squirrel scent" and makes them "smell" like snakes! So....WEIRD!

How in the heck did that first squirrel figure this out? And what was he doing chewing on the shedded snakeskin? I mean, I know beggars can't be choosers, but I'm thinking the little guy had to have been pretty dang hungry to resort to eating DEAD SKIN! Okay, now I'm grossing myself out. I'll stop. Goo.

I know what I want for Christma-kwanza-kah!

Okay, seriously?!?!? Could this puppy BE any cuter? I really need a Chug (the half chihuahua/half pug mix). And it ties in with my last blog entry quite nicely, don't ya think?

That wasn't even planned. It must mean I am MEANT to have a chug puppy for Christma-kwanza-kah. I will name him Skyy. Or Grey Goose....or....Patron? Cervesa? So many good ones to choose from....

Now THIS guy could drink you under the table!

Okay, we all know that security checks at the airport have gotten pretty absurd. But someone needs to tell this guy that he can probably get that vodka somewhere else. Or, I don't know, maybe ship it to his home? Not sure what possessed him to pound 2 pints of vodka. He's either way too cheap to waste it...or way too much of an alcoholic to waste it.

Either way, it usually takes me a good 15-20 minutes or so to finish off 2 whole pints of vodka. Geez, this guy must have a liver of steel!

All Hail Helio

So Helio the Indy 500 race car driver won Dancing With The Stars last night. I'm so glad that Marie Osmond was voted off. I'm sorry...I know she's good for 70 years old or whatever....but Helio and Mel B were SO much better.

I would have been happy if Mel B won as well, but Helio and Julianne took it home at the end of the night. Pretty impressive that three male athletes won the title the past few years. Fans really come to play in this competition.

I was procrastinating earlier today and was doing some searches on youtube....yeah, stumbled across a video of two of the male professional ballroom dancers from this season of DWTS doing something other than ballroom dancing. Click here to check out an "interesting" singing attempt by Mark Ballas (Sabrina's partner) and Derek Hough (Jennie Garth's partner and Julianne's brother). It's....ummm, interesting.....

Persi-wha?

So, maybe I've been living in a bubble for the past 27 1/2 some odd years, but I just discovered what a Persimmon is today.

I admit I was a bit skeptical to try it when one of my coworkers brought a bag full of the fruit into the office this morning. But to my surprise and delight...it was quite scrumptious! Looks like an orange tomato, but is sweet on the inside like honeydew. It's quite unique. My taste buds don't quite know what to make of it!

Now I must look into recipes for Persimmon bread and cookies. Fun fun!

Some more funny photos

TeeHee

This photo made me laugh so I thought I'd share. Hehehe. Ya, so it's been a while since I've made a post. So what?!?! This dog butt face should get me through the end of the year....AT LEAST!

Vera Bradley. Vera Cool.

So I recently discovered the brand Vera Bradley when I received a cute little coin purse as a gift.

Ever since then, I've been really digging their designs in purses and fun accessories. But they're much more accessible in the East Coast apparently. Boo. But, I have found a small selection in the Crabtree & Evelyn store in Crystal Court. And, I bought a super cute Vera Bradley checkbook (pictured above) yesterday which brightened my day. Now, writing checks will be THAT more exciting instead of using the ugly WAMU one.

Hey, I'm easy to please...what can I say?

Hola Kitty Kat!

Wow, Hello Kitty is quite a blast from the blast, eh? We received a donation of a bunch of Hello Kitty loot today to use as giveaways for an upcoming event. All of us girls were "ooo-ing" and "ahh-ing" over all the fun stuff inside as we reminisced on fond childhood memories filled with pink pencils, erasers and trapper keepers covered with the friendly kitty face.

One of my coworkers, however, was NOT THRILLED about the donation we received. Reason being: we got a hello kitty vaccuum cleaner and kitchen set. Harmless I felt at first. But not to her. Well, she was actually joking...but brought up an interesting point. She argued that products like these just worsen gender stereotypes even further and keep women "barefoot and pregnant" in the kitchen. She said there needed to be a "GI Joe" vaccuum to even out the score. Now THAT I would buy. I do love a vaccuum in uniform ;)

Yeah, bad joke. I know. Give me a break though, it's the end of the day.

My My Milo

Oh Milo. I am so excited to see you tonight. I am also thrilled that Heroes is coming back on the air.

I admit, I was resistant to the powers of Heroes at first. Why would I want to waste my time watching a TV show about silly super heroes anyway? That's LAME, right? Ya, just about as lame as watching shows about castaways on a magical island, incestuous doctors who say "seriously" way too much, and a washed up rocker's escapades with some of the trashiest women in America. I would never subject myself to THAT mindless drivel. Seriously.

But, needless to say, I got sucked in...like the rest of the world. And now I'm hooked. And, Milo is fun to look at too. But if he really is dating Hayden, that grosses me out. An 18 and 30 year old together? Ew. He needs a mature woman. Say, someone who's about 27, lives in Huntington Beach, works at the Aquarium in Long Beach, and is named Lisa. Hypothetically speaking...

Coochie coo

Have I ever mentioned how obsessed with puppies I am? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

The latest hybrid puppy I've fallen in love with....the "Yorkie Poo." I think if everyone had a Yorkie Poo in this world, there would be no war. They would be too busy "ooo-ing" and "awww-ing" over this precious little thing.

Unskinny Bop Bop Bop Bop

Yes, I was a Poison fan back in the day. I totally rocked the slap bracelet with the band's name in 5th grade. While all the other girls listened to the silly New Kids on the Block, I was digging the zexy 80's rock bands. I suppose that's why I liked all the cheesy boy bands so much later in life.

Anyway, I used to be IN LOVE with Bret Michaels when he looked like this. Nowadays, he's looking like this. Not quite my taste anymore personally. But with "Rock of Love" on the air, I am addicted to his show. It is TRASHY! Pure filth. And I love it. It used to be that show I wouldn't admit to watching....but lately, so many of my friends have come out of the closet, admitting they TOO love the show. Who knew?!?! Can't wait for the season finale this Sunday. And I'm so happy that crazy #%@$ Lacey got kicked off!!

As Bret would say, the show "kinda turns me on"

Gotta Love Jury Duty

Yes, although I thought I would hate it...it ended up being quite an experience I must say.

You gotta love jury duty....yesiree. Especially when you meet a cute boy. Even more so, ESPECIALLY when the creepy defense lawyer that looks and talks like he should work at a mortuary tracks you down at your work and inappropriately asks if you want to "get lunch some time" when you're pretty sure he told the entire courtroom how he enjoys taking "his wife and kids" to your place of employment.

Yup, that doesn't cross ANY weird boundaries, does it? Didn't think so.

Ewwwa. Ew.

It's All in the Family

So over the weekend, I met one of the writers of Family Guy at a house party. And I totally geeked out with him. I asked him all sorts of questions about how the show came about, what it's like in the writing room, how does their camp feel with South Park taking jabs at them, etc. I also learned that the random "vignettes" throughout the episodes are referred to as "cutaways."

And it was truly fascinating! Very down-to-earth family man. Didn't have a Hollywood sized ego. It made me like Family Guy EVEN MORE. And who would have thought my middle aged Uncle would be the one who first introduced me to the show years ago. What a hip dude.

And I was sooo invited to go see a live read of a future episode. Yes, I accept bribery in many forms.

I'm glad they're not MY brothers!

So I recently went to Portugal and Spain. Amazing trip, all around. Except for the part when I was bitten twice by a Portuguese buggie and it made my arm swell like Popeye's...that I could have dealt without.

One of the highlights of the trip, I must say, was our last night in Madrid when we went to see the performance "Los Vivancos Hermanos". Now, I have seen A LOT of musicals and dance performances. I'm not easy to please in these genres. But, hot damn, this was one of the best performances I've ever seen. These guys are multi-talented. Play instruments beautifully and are some of the most gifted dancers I have ever seen. They do it all.

And, it doesn't hurt that they are gorgeous and half naked the whole time. Nope, you don't see me complaining.

Still puppy obsessed

Are you kidding me with this face? I just recently discovered yet another adorable hybrid puppy: the Chug (half Chihuahua, half Pug). If I'm not careful, I might end up like this crazy dog obsessed socialite!

Why Woman Think They Like Pink

Okay okay, so my blogs are infrequent. But when I do make time to blog...dammit, I'll hit you with a couple. So deal with it. Danke.

So, I just came across this article I found quite intriguing. There is a study that claims there is a biological reason why women like "pink" and men gravitate more towards blue. This didn't sound entirely scientific so I read further. Here is the article.

Apparently, when women and men were shown a series of colored shapes and asked which they preferred, then men chose shades that were on the blue spectrum, and the women were drawn towards the "pinker" end of the spectrum. But this begs the question, are we shaped to prefer these colors by society? If a guy says his favorite color is "pink"...well, he is deemed a huge woosy and playing for the other team essentially.

The article goes on to say that as a whole, there is a universal preference towards blue for both sexes, but in addition, women like red as well. So, they deduce that red and blue are a combination of a woman's preference in colors...thus...purples and pinks. I dunno, London....you Brits are crazy with these studies!

My favorite line in the article is "For men, thinking about colours was less important because as hunters they just needed to spot something dark and shoot it..." Hehe.

Designer Puppies

So I recently discovered an adorable breed of puppy: the Chiweenie! It's a hybrid of a Chihuahua and a Dachshund and is JUST the CUTEST!! I looooove it. I have been puppy crazy for just about 5 years now. I must get a little poopy soon so I do not borrow someone else's poopy and "conveniently" forget to give it back.

Do I get a Chiweenie, or a Puggle, or a King Charles Cavalier or a Klee Kai? Such a hard decision!!

Settle down Sam-whore-a!

I was relieved to find that it was Richie Sambora, not my beloved Jon, who was admitted to rehab.

What an idiot. They were reviving MTV's Unplugged and he had to go and ruin it all by getting tossed beforehand. My class act Jon would never do such a thing of course. But Richie...geez, homeboy needs to get a grip. He is just going downhill by the second. He had Heather Locklear, then downgraded to Denise Richards, and now apparently is having a love affair with whiskey. Poor guy. Hopefully he'll get out of rehab in time to go out on tour so I can see my boyfriend. Mmmm, yummy.

What happens when you use the "F" word...

Apparently you can say "Fuck fuck fuck" to your hearts content on the set of Grey's Anatomy. But if you use the OTHER "F" word (which shall not be named...but I'll give you a hint...it rhymes with Saget)...well, then, you get the axe. Yup, Isaiah Washington is outskies. And to be honest...I don't really care. I like Grey's and all, but Christina is way more interesting then stupid stupid Burke.

Do I think he should have been fired though for saying that? Well, that's up for debate. The man may never work in Hollywood again. Maybe if he went to homophobic rehab they would let him return?

I remember reading something from a blog that said the ultimate payback would be if Isaiah Washingon had to play a gay man on the show. That would be quite interesting.

Needless to say, that trophy is the only love he'll be getting for a while.

Lovin Lipstick Jungle

So I've been getting into books on CD recently. I used to read all the time while living in San Francisco since it was the best way to pass the time on the bus to and from work (and a great way to avoid human contact with the "characters"[aka nut jobs] that would sometimes get on the bus). Atleast I never had a bus weirdo flash, pee or puke on me...and yes, I have heard of that happening. Only in SF...and I would imagine NY, and Chicago, and Boston...any big city that has a public transportation system I suppose...but I digress.

Anyway, so I just finished listening to the "Lipstick Jungle" CD book and it was fantastic! It was light, fun and entertaining; really helped pass the time spent in the car. Candace Bushnell, author of Sex and the City, wrote the book and Cynthia Nixon narrated (who played Miranda on SATC). It's about 3 high powered women who "own" Manhattan. Wendy is the President of a movie studio, Nico is the editor of a powerful magazine, and Victory is a high-end fashion designer. And their lives are fabulous and juicy and dramatic and it's all good fun. Highly recommend.

They are making it into a TV show soon too. Check it out here. It stars Brooke Shields, the chick from 24, and that other chick who played Ian Ziering's gf on 90210.

Won't be seeing you "Sunnin"

Now that we've had the debut of our new summer exhibit Catch A Wave that features all you would ever want to know about waves, surfing and tsunamis (shameless plug), my coworkers and I now have time to actually leave the office to feed ourselves.

So 5 of us trapsied on down to 2nd Street to try the Lebanese restaurant Sunnin. And I have to say, not too impressed. It took almost an hour for us to get our food! I had the chicken kabob sandwich which was decent, but I am sporting some strooong garlic breath right now...a bit much I have to say. Call it karma or delayed indigestion, but my tummy isn't feeling too hot right now either.

Best bet, take your bootie down the street to Open Sesame instead. They don't disappoint over there. Oooo, and get their fried potatoes made with cilantro, garlic, roasted chili and lemon juice. Delish!

It's Amaaaa-zing

That was my attempt to sing the "Amazing" song by Aerosmith. I am referring to the fan-freaking-tastic reality show "Amazing Race."

It was on last night and entertaining as always. It's down to 4 teams. The team who are cousins and one is tall, blond and skinny and the other one is a "little person" is still on the show. I want them off. Not because of the little person. She's cool. Her tall skinny cousin NEEDS TO GO though. Pronto. She is so friggin annoying and puts on this weird "accent" whenever she talks to locals...it's just so insulting! And she's manipulative. She makes my skin crawl.

Just like "Sangina" from American Idol. Uggghhhh! I know these are "reality" shows and all, but if these producers could just conveniently rid of the annoying people on them, it would please me mucho.

What is wrong with people?!?!?!

OK, seriously...what is wrong with people? Why are there these crazies that think shooting a bunch of people is a good idea?

By now, I'm sure you've heard about the crazy nut job who killed 32 people at Virginia Tech. This just infuriates me and makes me so sad at the same time. It's just so senseless and tragic. What made the shooter so unhappy and miserable? Why was he so messed up? I just don't get it. If he was that unhappy, he should have just sucked it up and gone to Disneyland...or gotten his frustrations out with a good kickboxing workout...or go to a shooting range and shoot paper targets for crying out loud!!!

33 people (including the shooter) gone, just like that, making it the worst shooting in the U.S. Such a shame. My heart goes out to the friends and families of the victims.

So I know it's been a while...

Yes, ok, ok....I haven't updated my blog in a while. I lag.

But I am back on the wagon...atleast for today...and have decided to post a photo of the surfboard I painted at my work. Employees were given the opportunity to design their own surfboards for our new "Catch A Wave" exhibit which debuts Friday, May 25th (and which you should all check out...but not Memorial Day weekend because it will be a madhouse!!)

So I'm dedicating my surfboard to my Dad, and the artist Magritte was my inspiration. Here is an example of Magritte's style and where I got the idea to paint the elements (although he depicts 6 and I'm pretty sure we only have 4 elements buddy). This painting is one of his better known pieces (and it was featured in that movie "Thomas Crown Affair").

I really enjoyed the painting process. Maybe that means I should take some painting classes to nurture my artistic side. Or...maybe this means I should stick to my day job.

Actual POSITIVE news

I'm always a sucker for an uplifting news segment. In a time where we can't escape some mention of Anna Nicole hearings/hoopla or Britney's ridiculous head shaving shenanigans, it's nice to hear a story that is actually heart-warming.

I enjoy the Today Show now because that awful nasty beeyatch Katie Couric has been replaced with Meredith what's her face. Such a relief. Anyway, this morning they covered a story about Toby Dawson the U.S. Olympian skier that was reunited with his birth father after more than 20 years! His parents lost him in a Korean market at age 3 and he was placed in an orphanage. He was eventually adopted by two American skiers and went on to win the bronze medal in freestyle skiing at the Turin Olympics and his real biological Dad was able to find him.

Just so touching. I love stories like this.

Woo-Hugh!!

Sign me up. I am now a Hugh Grant fan. Wrinkles and all. He has actually gotten BETTER looking with age. How does that work exactly? Women get less attractive and saggy and many men (i.e. Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, George Clooney, Robert Redford...ok, maybe not the last one) get more and more handsome. What gives?!?

I saw Music & Lyrics the other day and it was a cute movie. Not as "chicky-flicky" as I thought it would be actually. The opening and closing scenes featuring Grant in "nut hugging" pants singing and gyrating to awesomely bad 80's music is worth watching on its own. And in that last scene, they even add the "Pop-Up Video" element which I happily welcome back.

Didn't you just love Pop-Up Video? That show was the BEST! I love those helpful yet random facts coming up on screen and miss them dearly.

But back to Hugh. Remember when he used to look like this? Kinda nerdy right? Not my cup of tea...I prefer him nowadays like this.

Yup, sure do.

We've all got ISSUES apparently

Do you check your e-mail more than a couple times a day? Are you constantly hitting "refresh" to see if any new e-mails have come in? Do you spend most of your work day responding to e-mails than doing ACTUAL work?

Well, you may be ready to enter the newest form of rehab...yes, that's right E-MAIL REHAB! All of these crazy celebrities like Skanky Spears and Lindsay Hohan don't know what REAL addiction is. Crack and heroine are nothing. The power of the computer and the allure of e-mailing though...that's a REAL drug.

So similar to AA and NA and all of those Drug Anonymous groups, there is indeed also a 12-step program for those who are addicted to e-mailing. Some of these people will not go on a vacation where they do not have access to e-mail...is that really a sign of addiction though? I mean, I don't know if I would want to vacation somewhere that didn't have wireless Internet capabilities anyway....that doesn't mean I have "A PROBLEM" does it? Does it?!?!

Nano Nano

I am sooo digging my new red iPod nano. And what's even better is that $10 of my purchase goes towards the Global Fund to fight AIDS in Africa. So I get a fun toy AND part of the money goes to a great cause....although, come on Apple...I think you can afford donating more than $10 friggin dollars for every purchase...yes, something is better than nothing...but I vote for 50% of the purchase (even for a limited amount of time) should go towards the organization.

You heard what I said Stevie Jobs? Them be fighting words.

All smack-talking aside, I do love my new nano and spent hours this weekend uploading all sorts of super songs to it. Some really random ones too...if someone got hold of my nano, I don't think they would know what to think...my music taste is a bit schizo nowadays. Can't wait to add even more songs to my Little Red.

Some Salmonella with your Peanut Butter?

I was watching the Today Show this morning and heard that salmonella (the infection that kills 600 people annually and gives people symptoms which can include fever, dehydration, and vomiting, oh my!) has been found in Peter Pan Peanut Butter in more than 300 cases across the country!!

One question....how does salmonella (which is usually found in raw chicken) make it into a jar of peanut butter?!?!?! I mean....really!! I don't get it. Click here for the entire story. It's just so bizarre and so disgusting!

I am a HUGE fan of peanut butter...especially on bananas, apples and celery...I wonder if the world of peanut butter will take a huge hit from this incident. I'm kind of rethinking my Jif jar of PB in my drawer right now actually...hmmm.

Somehow...I don't see Peter Pan peanut butter making a comeback from all of this. Unless if someone was to play a "Russian Roulette" type of game and see if THEY were the lucky one to get salmonella in THEIR Peter Pan jar. What a brilliant game...I should copyright that.

The Office is Awwwwesome

So the U.S. version of "The Office" has quickly become one of my most favorite shows. I've already run through Season 1 and am onto Season 2 (ala Netflix). The humor is just so subtle but brilliant all the same. I think the looks and gestures that effortless say it all are what makes this show just work. Especially Jim's character. His looks into the camera are just perfect.

Some of my favorite Michael Scott (i.e. Steve Carell) quotes so far...

Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.
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Michael Scott: The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout 'shotgun' when you're within sight of the car gets the front seat. That's how the game's played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.
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Michael Scott: Yes, I've heard 'women and children first', but we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace, by law, so if I let them out first... I have a lawsuit on my hands.
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Michael Scott: [ordering at Chili's] Megan? May we have an Awesome Blossom please? Extra awesome.

Good stuff. There is part of me that hopes I never have to work with someone like Michael Scott...but another part of me that hopes for it everyday...hehe.

I learned to poach!

No, not eggs...although I do really need to learn how to poach eggs because I love me some Eggs Florentine!! Last night during tennis, I learned the art of poaching. And it was oh so fun! If I tried to explain it, I would just confuse myself...so I will use wikipedia's definition:

"Poaching – (in doubles) an aggressive move where the player at net moves to volley a shot intended for his/her partner."

Wow, Wiki did a good job describing it. There's a diagram here but it reminds me too much of geometry which was NOT my favorite subject in high school to say the least.

But poaching is a good time I must say. And so is tennis. I am slowly and steadily upping my game so I can probably play Maria or Serena in a couple weeks or so. No problem. If I could ONLY fit it into my busy schedule...

Flip Cup for-sheeezy

Yes, I had a nice re-visit with college when I partook in a nice old fashioned game of Flip Cup.

This game can get so stressful! For those who are unfamiliar, the game is also known as "Flippy Cup" and "Boat Racing." You have teams on either side of a table and your opponent is the person standing directly across from you. The opponents at the end of the table start chugging their beers at the same time (from the highly recognizable plastic red/blue cups typically) and once they're finished, put their cups on the edge of the table, right side up, and have to flip the cup continuously until it lands upside down. Once it does, onto the next person on your team who repeats the process until the person on the end has completed the final "flipping of the cup."

It may sound easy in theory, but throwing in elements of nerves, intoxication and people screaming and cheering all around you, this seemingly easy task becomes quite complex and potentially impossible if you've had one too many. It is oh so fun though. And I know some things you out grow with age....like hop-scotch, playing tag, giving people wedgies, etc....but I just can't imagine I will EVER out grow Flip Cup or Beer Pong.

You probably can't make the quote out on the bottom of the motivational "Flip Cup poster" above, but it reads "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link"....ahh, so true, and so wise when it comes to this fan-freaking-tastic game.

Shiro FitFit anyone?

Yeah, I didn't know what "Shiro FitFit" was either until Saturday when we went to the fabulous Ethiopian restaurant, Fassica for Nadia's b-day!

We got the Fassica Special which included a little bit of everything and also the Shiro Fitfit which is "Injera tossed in powdered roasted chickpea sauce, seasoned with onions, jalapeno and spices." Everything was extremely tastey and I highly recommend this place if you're ever in Culver City and hunger strikes. IT's run by a precious couple that are sweet as can be. And, it gives you an excuse to eat with your hands (and injera which is the yummy spongey bread)!

Afterward, we continued Nadia's celebration with dancing the night away at Mor Bar on Main St. in SM. Eventhough the bouncer was on a major power trip, he could not stop our night and it was most excellent! It involved boogeying to bootie songs, shaking our groovethangs on the stage, dancing in a biiig circle, shots, wine, you name it. Had the best time.

Then Nadia, Jacquie and I had "hangover" brunch the next day at Bread & Porridge in SM which hit the spot in the most perfect way; I had the Shepherd's Omelet with spinach and goat cheese...yum! A wonderful weekend all around.

Jack is my hero

Jack on "Lost" hasn't been doing it for me lately. But you know who has? Jack Bauer on "24." Not from a "oh wow, he's hot!" standpoint...more like a "his character has been just so unbelievably bad ass lately" frame of mind.

After this week's episode though, looks like he is going to have some MAJOR Daddy issues.

Apparently others also feel Jack Bauer is such a bad ass since so many sites devote funny "Top 100 lists" that embody this amazing character. Here are some good ones...

1) Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
2) Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f-ing do it.
3) When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
4) Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
5) When you go to hell, it's just a room with you and Jack.
6) Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
7)Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamn bomb was.
8)Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
9)If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's f-ing beef.
10) It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.

To view the complete list, click here.

Lost again!

I can't wait for Lost to come back tonight. They left us hanging with a cliffhanger last year and that DID NOT make me happy. Lost has some work to do in order to gain my support back.

I heard on the radio this morning that the show's producers have no intention for it to drag on years and year like Seinfeld and Frasier did for 67 years. That is somewhat comforting. Let's see if they put their money where their mouth is. And for the love of God, what the HECK is the smoke monster thing? And are they all dead and in purgatory or is this just a really bad acid trip? Hopefully some questions will be answered in tonight's episode.

No longer Mr.Dreamboat

Gavin Gavin Gavin. You used to be so fantastic. You had the looks, the smarts, the humor, the admiration of not only San Franciscans but also throughout the U.S....what the heck happened to you?!?!?! Such a disappointment.

First, the news that he slept with his aide/good friend's wife. Then, he has come out and said he is a big 'ol alkie. What next? That he's joining the Scientologist cult? He has a 3rd arm?

A man with so much potential....I mean, he still is pretty...but nobody wants an unfaithful alcoholic...well, maybe if he can make a mean mojito....

Bad Wookie....baaaad!

Who knew that Chewbacca was so hard core? Apparently a Chewbacca impersonator was arrested after head-butting a tour guide in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood. The tour guide was telling the wookie to stop harassing the tourists and Chewbacca just wasn't having it.

I've seen the eccentric street performers out in Hollywood before and they've always been quite entertaining. Maybe Chewbacca was having a bad day because Marilyn Monroe and Elvis were getting more attention? Whatever the case may be...him exclaiming, "Nobody can tell THIS wookie what do to," is just priceless!

He may be right...maybe nobody CAN tell that wookie what to do. But the Star Wars geek underneath the Chewbacca suit, that has probably never been laid a day in his life, is now in a jail cell. The force WAS NOT with him that day.

Sit 'n Sleep is Satan

Or at least that's how I felt this morning. I wake up to my radio alarm every work morning and usually I hear some non-descript, non-invasive song or discussion that I'm not coherent enough to actually register. You know, nothing of importance but enough noise to slowly allow me to collect my senses (after hitting snooze 17 more times).

But this morning, I woke to one of the most God-awful sounds. In a screaming blaring obnoxious voice, I am startled by the exclamation...."Sit 'n Sleep will beat any advertised mattress prices or your mattress is freeeeee!!!!" It almost gave me a heart attack! Then, to top it off...another horrid voice (apparently Irwin) exclaims "You're killlling me Larrrryyyy!"

You know what? I wish Larry would actually kill Irwin already. And then finish himself off while he was at it. I am sick and tired of these lame ass commercials. It gives advertising a bad name...and I should know...since I'm in adverting and all. So THERE Sit 'n Sleep! Get yourself a new ad campaign or else I will reach inside my radio and strangle you with my bare hands the next time you wake me up like that.

As you can tell, I woke up on the RIGHT side of the bed this morning.

TGIFF.

Susie Homemaker in the Making

Yes, yours truly along with Jen(ni) cooked this meal last night (Parmesan crusted chicken, sauteed zucchini and squash, and multigrain pasta with vodka sauce) and it was T-A-S-T-E-Y! So simple and quick to prepare.

I hadn't cooked in a while and it felt just great. Here's to becoming Lisa Homemaker....at least once a week ;)

Got $155 Million Dollars?

Then you could be the proud owner of the above home....in BFE Montana!!! It will be the most expensive property in the world...surpassing even "The Donald's" estate. He must be pissed!

Yess, for that modest sum...the owner will have their own helicopter, helicopter pad, ski lift to an exclusive mountain, 30 car garage and 4 guest houses. It's absolutely ridiculous but fabulous all the same.

Apparently locals are not too excited for this new development in their little town in Montana....they have a point that all of that money could go to a good cause but I bet they wish they had their own mountain to ski on as well! Geez...it's just insane and so unneccesary! The developer said he will buy it if there aren't any takers but I guess there are 10 bidders already.

I'm sure the home will be amazing but to keep it in perspective....IT'S IN MONTANA!! If homes are going for that much dough in freaking Montana...my dreams of owning a home in SoCal are pretty much slim to none. Desolate island is looking more and more appealing...

Catch and Release Mr.Olyphant

So I saw the Jennifer Garner movie "Catch and Release" on Saturday with Tiff (who's in town...yay!) and Erica.

I have to say...I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't as cheesy as I thought. Yeah, any straight guy would probably have more fun shooting himself in the foot rather then sitting through this movie, but the girls and I thoroughly enjoyed.

It stars Ms. Garner, Kevin Smith, Juliette Lewis and....that hot man from the movie "Go"...Mr. Timothy Olyphant. He is delish. That's probably why I liked the movie so much. Let's be honest. He has actually been in quite a bit since Go actually....looking at his imdb profile...he was in an episode of SATC (where was I?) and Rockstar and a bunch of Deadwood episodes. Go Timmy!

Also, that night we went to Cafe Tu Tu Tango....and their food is just excellent. I love me some tapas. We had white wine sangria, the white pizza (feta and chicken), asian steak skewers and chicken chipotle empanadas....all I would recommend. Super.

Nyquil is the BOMB!

So Nyquil has been my knight in shining armor these past few days. After ridiculous sleep deprivation over the past 2 months or so from stupid allergy congestion and yucky colds, I got the ultimate sleep. I went to bed at midnight on Friday evening....and didn't open my eyes until 11:30 a.m. the next day. Almost a full 12 hours of sleep. The last time I slept like that...I believe it was in college. Yup, righty-doo.

Allergies are seriously not fun. I don't know if it's going back to having carpet (since had hard wood floors in SF), having the illustrious Snickers the cat spreading her dander all over the house or what....but I am constantly sneezing. And I feel like I'm an old person since I have to put those plastic linings on my mattress and pillow so I don't wet the bed...I mean let the dust mites bite.

What did Cave people do? I don't think they had allergies. They'd probably tell me to suck it up. What can I say...I'm just not as tough as a Caveman. According to those Geico ads...I sure am smarter though ;)

Things to not do while driving

Shave. Yes, why are men shaving while driving?!?! I mean, COME ON! How does someone think this is a GOOD idea???

I saw 2 different guys going to town on their faces using electric shavers on the way to work today. These fools who think their cars are "a home a way from home" better wake up. Seriously!

So what next? Bikini waxes while driving? Whipping up excel spreadsheets on the trusty Blackberry on our way to work. This nonsense must stop people.

And yeah...to all of those people who text while driving...not that I have partaken in that foolish behavior...yeah...that might not be a good idea either really...not that I've ever done that...but to any of you out there that have...yup.

We all grown-sed up

Well, atleast Jen(ni) is. I helped her move into her new place (which she OWNS and is not renting). I'm so proud of her. Go Jen(ni)!

So when I say I helped her move...not furniture exactly. That's a boy's job. No, I helped her with things like clothes, and shoes and stuff from her room. And do you wanna know what kept going through my head?

Damn I need to get my a$$ to the gym!!!

I started getting all "asthma-y" walking up and down the stairs and suddenly, pants and coats became THE HEAVIEST things in the world to lift! Nothing like some tennis lessons and pumping some iron can't cure hopefully.....geez!

Thank goodness for helmets!

Check out my old roomie's phat bruise!!! Becky is pretty hard core. To give some perspective...that bruise is on the side of her left leg and it's the size of a cantaloupe. She craaazy...if I took a spill off a bicycle like that...I don't think I would even get on a stationary bike again let alone a professional fancy one.

Thank goodness homegirl was wearing a helmet.

Weird and Wacky

So I was up north in Los Altos over the weekend and didn't have a chance to write about 2 of the most BIZARRE things I have ever seen. Seriously...prepare yourselves.

First, when I went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, I was really looking forward to seeing their White Shark...one of the only ones in captivity (and I was lucky to have seen it since they just released it into the ocean a few days ago!) So I'm looking in this massive tank for this illustrious shark...and all of a sudden that huge fish above swims past me. I literally gasped. Have you ever seen something so crazy in your entire life? This picture doesn't even do it justice.

It's a Sunfish (also referred to as a Mola Mola). It looks like it was flattened into a giant pancake. So intriguing to watch. It eats jellyfish too. Fancy that.

To top off the evening, I was hanging out with Becky and some of her h.s. peeps back in Los Altos, and they showed me the Indian version of "Thriller." Have you seen it? It is one of the weirdest videos I have ever seen....it's hilarious yet ridiculous at the same time. Kind of like "Bollywood" but we think this guy is completely serious. Check the video out here. It's highly entertaining.